Tag: trendy

Trendy Teens (Part 2 of 2)

Continued from last week’s Trendy Teens (Part 1 of 2):

Another key way to engage with students is to control our atmosphere! While none of us can always control every situation and decision our teens make, we can control the atmosphere in our homes and church youth groups, and atmosphere is everything!

In Jim Burns book, Teen-ology he says; “While no home is perfect, and you will experience conflict with your teens – Here’s the deal: I don’t think we should solely blame our kids for the chaos in the home. Their “job” as teenagers is bound to cause some chaos and conflict. They are experimenting with behaviors, challenging authority, and generally doing things to mess up any positive atmosphere around them. Your job in the home is to set a tone and atmosphere that is more conductive to a better environment in the family. (It’s not going to be easy). If your family is living at too fast of a pace, or if your own life is filled with chaos and conflict, don’t expect your teens to set a positive atmosphere in your home. And don’t expect communication to be all that good either. It’s back to the intentional parenting of teens by staying calm, working a plan, and getting as emotionally healthy as YOU possibly can. To set a better atmosphere you will need to 1) be intentional 2) sometimes have to decide when certain behaviors and choices are just not worth a battle. (If your children see you as constantly nagging or criticizing them, don’t expect them to enjoy hanging out with you).”

Research is still showing that parents are the biggest influence in their teen’s life. Parents have the opportunity to make the biggest impact in their teen’s decisions. While we as adults can’t always control the decisions teens make regarding drug use, sex and friend choices, we can control the way we engage with the culture around us. We have power, through the Holy Spirit, to help our teens to be rooted and established in love, and not rooted in the popular trends all around them. It is messy work, but our teens are too important to ignore. Engage in their world and remind them of “real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of”.

Trendy Teens (Part 1 of 2)

Looking back on the trendy fashion, music and entertainment from the 60’s and beyond, one common thread remains; it was the teens that were the “trend-setters.” If we look at the current trends in music, technology and entertainment, it is teens that are still influencing trends today. Therefore, as loving, caring, faith-filled adults, how should we respond to cultural trends from a Christian perspective?

Let’s first look at how Jesus interacted with and responded to culture. I love the way Brian Housman describes the way Jesus interacted with the culture around him in his book Engaging Your Teen’s World. He writes, “Jesus came to heal and renew what sin has infected – by revelation and instruction he (Jesus) reattaches the soul to God the source of its being and goodness and restores it to the right order of love.” Notice those verbs; Renew, Reattaches, Restores. He doesn’t ignore, or respond in panic or fear.

Unlike Jesus, our first response is too often to reject or ignore tough questions and hard battles. However the best way to deal with issues of culture (music, tech, entertainment) is to engage!

Look at the story in John 10:6-10 where Jesus is the Good Shepherd. The Message says it like this; Jesus told this simple story, but they (the disciples) had no idea what he was talking about. So he tried again. “I’ll be explicit, then. I am the Gate for the sheep. All those others are up to no good—sheep stealers, every one of them. But the sheep didn’t listen to them. I am the Gate. Anyone who goes through me will be cared for—will freely go in and out, and find pasture. A thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of.”

“Will freely go in and out”—Notice Jesus doesn’t lock up the sheep. Dead bolt the gate shut! Keep the sheep completely sheltered, in hiding. John Rosemond, that man who coined the phrase “helicopter parent” says this; “Too many parents are ultimately carrying the burdens of their teen’s problems on their own shoulders. No teen will become a responsible adult if their parents carry the load for them. It’s not healthy for either party!”

So then, how do we engage without taking on our kid’s burdens? Whatever you do, don’t stay silent. Silence will often lead teens to jump to feeling of shame! Things so terrible we dare not mention them. When we try to engage, too often we ask simple (yes or no) questions. Then we’re surprised or disappointed when all we get is a simple yes/no/fine answer. Instead, begin your questions with phrases such as, “What do you think about…” or “How do you feel about…” These are open-ended questions, and can be quite helpful. Try them. They work!

To be continued…

Want to know the latest information about SERVE and ThereforeGo Ministries?